Friday, February 2, 2007

Money is the root of all evil

The title of this article is very true for an addict. Money causes an addict to buy drugs, drink alcohol, use women, gamble, or get the object of whatever addiction you are in. I am no exception. Whenever I have money in my pocket, my addict mind plays trick on me. My evil mind savors the night life, the pretty women around me, the ambiance in a bar, sipping of alcohol. At the first sign of a relapse, these scenes are played over and over again. If you don't know how to handle it, you will soon relapse into your addiction. Again and again. That was the old me. If I have at least one thousand pesos in my wallet, I will find a drinking buddy to go out and have several rounds.

This afternoon is quite different. I have proven to myself that I, with God's help, will be able to triumph against my addiction. I went to Quezon City to collect from a client. At the same time, I encashed some checks. In short, I ended up having around twenty thousand pesos in my pockets. One month into sobriety, I noticed my addict mind is not anymore playing tricks on me. I did not imagine the sounds, lights, women, beer, laughter. They are gone. I was amazed. I did not crave. Twenty pesos is more than enough to rampage into a drinking frenzy and womanizing in bars. But for some reason, I did not think about it. Perhaps the AA 12-steps is really effective. Wow. I triumphed again today. Living one day at a time. Taking each challenge at a time. I won this time but I have to be vigilant in the coming days. Temptations lurk in each corner.

Thank you Lord for the strenth you have given me this time. I am more in control now than I used to be. Alcoholics Anonymous 12-steps and 12 traditions are really working in me. God is also.